


Strange Clown Man

by Samsara (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 23:43:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Samsara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Jane Crocker, and you knew kissing a dead clown was a bad idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Clown Man

**Author's Note:**

> Shut up I'm sad.

There's nothing quite like exploring this fancy little planet of yours, or rather your very un-fancy planet. It's rather unremarkable, save for the endless intrigue that comes from peering into each of these little crypts that dot across your land. There's nothing much more of interest to you anymore, having been into every place you could plausibly reach, and solving every little puzzle that came your way. So it would seem that you your time on this planet is done! What a right ole shame. There still seemed to be so many places--oh what are you kidding yourself. Your planet has been a bore, save for the hot air balloons and you would be very pleased to get yourself off to somewhere else, and doing something new for a change.

So as you found your way back to your house, now floating a few feet above the ground, atop a hot air balloon, you contemplated seeing if that funny clown man had left anything by your refrigerator...and hopefully not anymore dead bodies. That was positively dreadful. So as you snoop around the remains of the horrid meeting grounds, nothing truly exciting comes to view, save for a few of those bottles of that odd goop that you truly want absolutely nothing to do with. They are lovely colors, but surely they can't be anything special. You pick up one, the color something akin to fuchsia, and examine it momentarily. He said it involved something about bestowing life giving powers, or something of that sort? You can't recall exactly. For some reason, you pocket the potion. Better than spending anymore money on the wretched things. You stand among the rubble of wall of your house and the remaining potions, surveying the damage until a little something stands out to you.

Your fridge is on top of a transportalizer. Where the transportalizer came from, you aren't quite sure, but surely your curiosity won't get the best of you?

Your curiosity bests you as you begin to push the refrigerator off. However, you are just...not strong enough.

And on the ground, a bottle of bright blue, the little potion that the funny clown man in the obscene pants, suggested would make you stronger.

You pick up that bottle and sincerely hope that it only has to be applied topically. Like hell you're drinking this stuff!

You uncork the tiny bottle, and splash a little of the fluid on to your hand. Or rather...dribble. You look at the gelatinous goop in disgust as it comes out partially separated and with the consistency of blood. What a ghastly concoction! You gag somewhat and rub a little of the goop on to your arms, tongue sticking out in disgust as you get the nerve to push the fridge again. It slides off easily with a thump revealing a transportalizer with a little ":o)" drawn on it as well.

You know you're going to regret this as you step on board, and it takes you off to who knows where.

And unfortunately, you've arrived in a place even more desolate and unattractive than your own planet! There aren't even the brightly colored balloons here to take your mind off it all! The only color...

Was a man shaped blob of purple somewhere ahead. And once again, your curiosity gets the best of you and you head towards it.

To find the strange clown man, lying in a puddle of--

Was that blood?

Did he bleed purple?

You suddenly have a moment of clarity, realizing that the little vials you had...are probably just that. Blood.

And in your moment of realization there's a slight honking noise, as the body shifts, and you conclude.

He's dead.

You remember being dead before. And you remember Dirk kissing you and like that you were among the living once again. How it worked, you just don't know.

But as strange of a person the clown man was...you couldn't just leave him there. He didn't seem to mean you any harm, after all. He just wanted to...make you a strange spirit guide, that turned out to be a very unstable and self-loathing creature. And then sell you bottles of blood with magical powers. After all, that blue one did help you move the fridge. But the poor, strange clown man. Lying in a puddle of brilliantly colored blood.

You couldn't leave him there.

With a sigh of aggravation, and acceptance, you crouch down to the ground and push the strange clown man's body so he's face up. You shudder, as you see that there are many holes in his chest, and that he somehow died with a smile. How odd, and incredibly morbid.

You swallow hard, feeling your stomach flip-flop as you lean down, eyes shut, just because you don't want to look at his strange face. No corpse should smile. Your lips purse into a tight little smooching form, and you get it over with. You kiss that dead clown. You kiss that dead clown hard.

And then nothing.

It was worth a shot. You sit back, and look at the dead clown. You suppose its okay for a clown to smile, even when dead. After all. Clowns are supposed to be funny.

So you stand, and you turn around, aiming to head back to the transportalizer to go back to your house.

And you walk no more than about ten feet before you're interrupted by a honking sound as the strange clown man flies above you, and swoops down, lifting you up by your underarms, and holds you in the air as he flies off.

He's alive. And it's all your fault.

You tell him to put you down, and you ask him where he's talking you. He just laughs, grateful to be alive and says you're off for an adventure.

You knew taking the transportalizer was a bad idea.


End file.
